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If I asked you to list and rank order the 5 events that cause you the most stress and then to tell me how you relieve stress what would you say? I know what I would say. My wife and friends and I have just returned from a holiday in south-east Alaska. In Juneau, Alaska's tiny capital, there is a cable car that goes from the center of the town up to the top of Mt Roberts. My wife loves these experiences - I detest them. I didn't realize I had acrophobia - extreme fear of heights - until I was driving up to a small village in India called Nainital. This pretty little British hill station lies at 6000 feet in the Himalayas. The trip nearly paralysed me. The experience also humbled me as I learned what it is like to have screamingly high levels of stress, anxiety and fear.

Everyone has a different Stress trigger. Some people test their physical and psychological limits through bungee jumping, rock climbing and so on. For me heights are a problem so I have to think of ways of relieving the stress. In the most extreme cases, my stress relief strategy is avoidance.

What are your triggers? What things, creatures, events, meetings, circumstances are your stressors? There are quite a few groups of triggers or stressors that will increase your adrenaline rush and make you feel anxious and worried. Let's look at some of them and, while you are reviewing my list of triggers, note down any that are a particular worry for you.

There are many workplace triggers that induce stress for people. These include poor role description, inadequate working environment, boring work, being asked to do things that don't fit your skill set, inadequate or insufficient training, and poor bosses. Sometimes the work culture that creates stress, racism, sexual harassment, discriminatory treatment and so. There are many potential triggers in the workplace and the job for you is to find the best stress relief mechanisms.

We can also have emotional or internal stressors such as fear of animals, insects, people or places. Other internal triggers are being in social settings and not knowing what to say. Worries about appearing dumb or stupid. Fears that you are not dressed appropriately for the occasion. Concerns about what other people think of you. Preoccupation with your body shape, size, weight - butt too big, stomach sticks out - you know.

Being a family can be a stressful event. If you are a parent, saving up to college, paying your kids dental bills, determining when they should be able to date, unwanted pregnancies - the list goes on. You might be worried about your own relationships and this causes you constant stress. Families do create stress but they also provide stress relief.

Our job is to work out what causes stress for each of us. In therapy, I propose a model called BE CALM. I use this model to help people develop a stress relief and stress management strategy. B is for build, E for examine, C for confront, A for accept, L for let go (forgive, forget), and M for Move on with your life. We can't let stress manager our lives; we need to learn good stress relief tips and strategies.