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Alcoholism in the family can have a devastating effect. Whether it be a mother, father, husband or wife that is the alcoholic, it has the ability to destroy a family and leave lasting scars.

The danger for the husband, wife or partner of an alcoholic is that you become codependent or suffer from codependency, which essentially means ‘relationship addiction.’

Being in a codependent relationship means your needs aren’t being fulfilled emotionally and that the relationship will in all likelihood be totally one-sided – you trying to please or ‘be there’ for your spouse/partner. This will also have a huge impact on any kids you may have because they will pick up on the destructive nature of the relationship, which will affect them especially in later years.

The effects of alcoholism on a relationship or marriage are huge, in that it naturally puts huge strain on the relationship. So it may reach a stage whether things have just gotten too bad for you (and your kids) that staying in the relationship is just not possible. Considering the whole alcoholism and divorce conundrum or looking at separation may then become a very real issue for you.

I grew up in a family where alcoholism caused massive pain and heartbreak so I know how difficult it is to handle and to know what to do. It’s different for every family, but asking yourself things like – how is this effecting the kids, is there abuse involved and how bad is the alcoholism/is it getting worse? – will help you get clearer on the kind of action you need to take.

Eventually though the pleading and empty threats will need to stop – because you will need to take a real stand and say to yourself, ‘this is it’, if anything is going to change.

This is when doing an intervention could be your trump card – because if done properly, and done well – it could well get your partner or spouse into proper treatment, and so be the start of things turning around.

Ultimately though – there simply is no easy or quick fix. A good place to start to meet and speak to people who are going through what you are, is Al Anon. It’s a great support network for family and friends of alcoholics. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help – because there are so many people out there already, going through what you are, who can offer help and support.